In today’s cinematic selection we have a French film that features Jean-Claude Van Damme, a martial artist action movie star with a waning career, playing Jean-Claude Van Damme, a martial artist action movie star with a waning career.
The casting director had a really easy job is what I’m saying.
One fateful night a group of self involved annoying teenagers discover that more than just the NSA is listening in on their online communications. Unless NSA stands for.. nighttime… spirit… apparition! Yeah! I really should have planned that one out ahead of time…
Quick aside: Apologies for being a little late with post yet again. This past week I really got caught between two projects that required my attention. I was juggling multiple duties and things just kept popping up. For now though I’ve gotten everything beaten back and I will do my best to stay on track. Thank you for bearing with me dear readers. And now on to your regularly scheduled review.
Fun fact: the actress playing Steve Carell’s wife in the beginning of this movie is Steve Carell’s actual wife! She doesn’t have any lines since she immediately runs away from Carell never to be seen again.
This could be more upsetting, but an asteroid is going to wipe out all life on Earth in three weeks anyway, so really, what ya gonna do ?
Ok, we gather a group of the fastest guns in the west. They come from different backgrounds; lawmen and gang members, bounty hunters and hardened criminals, former confederates and black Union soldiers. We strand them together in a cabin and then…have them talk at each other.
A lot.
Five men share a loft to facilitate illicit trysts with women other than their wives. Little did they know that the most illicit thing to happen in that loft would be…MURDER!!
(Spoilers lie below, venture forth at your own risk.)
No review above the cut this time. While I won’t be spoiling anything major I will be talking about basic character information that you learn in the first 20 to the 30 minutes of the movie. I know I did my best to go into this movie with as little information as possible so I’m giving you the same chance. Click below to continue on to my review of Star Wars: The Force Awakens.
I have a love/hate relationship with “the holidays.” In my childhood and well beyond I would have a ball around Christmas wearing my Santa hat, singing songs, and readily become filled with warm fuzzies. I enjoyed watching the lights from my Christmas tree (multicolored lights, thank you,) dance on the ceiling and hung my Star Trek and Ninja Turtle ornaments proudly. Peace on Earth, goodwill toward men, I bought into the whole schtick. Over the past decade though something slowly happened. Perhaps I became an adult. I no longer revel in Christmas cheer. I see it as a potentially stressful time. What used to put a grin on my face now has a fair chance of giving my big ol’ depressive self a case of the sads. Basically somewhere in mid November I gird myself to just “get through the holidays.” But there is still a small part of me that wishes Christmas could be the way it used to be.
Basically I should be looking over my shoulder for Krampus.
America’s dad Tom Hanks has had a long acting career encompassing a wide variety of roles and genres. Comedic schlubs, hardened gangsters, war heroes, and a toy cowboy. Even when the movie as a whole falls short he is consistently good. What makes him such a talented actor is his ability to truly embody a character. Some stars are always themselves. Those selves can be very entertaining but they are still the same selves they were in every other movie. That’s Jason Statham kicking that dude’s face, not Frank Martin. Often when watching Tom Hanks I forget he is Tom Hanks the movie star and become invested in his character enough to see him only as Jim Lovell, Chuck Noland, or Captain Phillips. And that is one of the best compliments I can give an actor.
So let us begin the Tom Hanks lightning round!
This week I watched a movie about a father, once lost in his work, reconnecting with his son. I also watched a movie about the power of social media and its ability to reach the masses and turn the tide of his business. Also there was a movie about the art of cooking and a team of people with a gift and a passion for creating new and interesting dishes for their clientele.
All three of these movies were the same one: Chef.
(cue the theme song from The Beverly Hillbillies)
This week I watched three movies ‘bout a Detroit cop,
a fast talkin’ guy whose antics wouldn’t stop.
The bad guys went and made his friend a ghost
so he chased them all the way out to the west coast.
Under cover. No jurisdiction.
He made some new friends and then returned home,
but then the sequel saw to it that he couldn’t roam.
His west coast buddy, he took a round or three
and Axel found himself headed back to Beverly.
Sensing a pattern. Maybe he should just move.
His boss was the next one to meet his end.
It sure is dangerous to be this guy’s friend.
The crooks fled the country to find some more thrills.
Just kidding, we all know they went to Beverly Hills.
One movie too many. Trying too hard.
Bound to be a reboot soon, y’hear?