written by Kate Danvers

SPOILER WARNINGS ARE IN EFFECT

Neron created a very specialized app that uses the viral spread of information to track down monster sightings, even though social media apps already exist and can make news go viral much faster. Yet he’s upset that only a few thousand people have downloaded it so far, even though in reality he would already be flooded with “sightings” that amount to “LOL my mother-in-law”, “I swear to God I just saw Bigfoot”, and dick pics.

Sorry, I forgot to rant about that last time so I front-loaded it this time. You’re welcome.
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written by Kate Danvers

SPOILER WARNINGS ARE IN EFFECT

Check out this joker. His plan hinges on smartphone users being too lazy to read the terms of service before agreeing to them…okay, yeah, Neron is going to take over the world.
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written by Kate Danvers

SPOILER WARNINGS ARE IN EFFECT

Y’all…I don’t even know anymore.
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written by Kate Danvers

SPOILER WARNINGS ARE IN EFFECT

Gather around guys, gals, and non-binary pals, because I’m going to teach you about literary lessons in this recap. Aren’t you all lucky?
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written by Kate Danvers

SPOILER WARNINGS ARE IN EFFECT

Trapped in a neverending loop of obnoxious retail employees, pushy customers, awful claustrophobic environments… Surrounded by an oppressive sense of dread that won’t end until doom claims us all…

But enough about my experiences working retail, let’s talk about Episode 4×12 of Legends.
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written by Kate Danvers

SPOILER WARNINGS ARE IN EFFECT

Hank’s horrific plan is finally revealed! It’s so much better than I thought.
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written by Kate Danvers

SPOILER WARNINGS ARE IN EFFECT

Remember when The Flash was this fun? Remember when Supergirl was this fun? Remember when Arrow…

…uh…

…remember that one time Oliver almost smiled?
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written by Kate Danvers

SPOILER WARNINGS ARE IN EFFECT

A tale as old as time: Beauty and the Hawaiian Werewolf Demigod Luchador.
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written by Kate Danvers

SPOILER WARNINGS ARE IN EFFECT

Time to enjoy an hour of ZariCat knocking things off of tables with the wind totem.

Usually to get into the mood to write these things, I listen to a song. Sometimes it’s a song from the era in which the episode takes place or, failing that, the Chamber Brothers’ “Time Has Come Today,” which was heard in the Season Two finale. Other times I pick a song that’s just thematically appropriate or something that gets me in the frame of mind.

I just wanted you all to know what I’m listening to as I type this intro.
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written by Kate Danvers

SPOILER WARNINGS ARE IN EFFECT

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!

[NOTE: The following review is brought to you by a mild case of automatonophobia.]

Okay. I can get through this. It’s just creepy dolls. Creepy dolls with knives and dead-eyed stares. I’m fine. Let me just turn on every light in my house first.
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