written by Kate Danvers
SPOILER WARNINGS ARE IN EFFECT
Where does the god of hedonism, intoxication, and revelry hang out? No, not Constantine’s house…wait, that’s actually a good answer. Never mind.
The Legends do some research on how they can use the Loom. They need three gods and they only have one former one. Sara thinks she’s close enough and I agree, but let’s not risk it. They find something that might help, though: the Chalice of Dionysus, which makes whoever drinks from it a god for a day. Nate recognizes it from his college years when he tried to steal it from a frat house, who were using it as a chug cup. They go to Hudson University in 2020 with Lita tagging along for a college visit. Adorably, because of Mick and Ava’s time-travel shenanigans to insert Mick into Lita’s life, Lita refers to Ava as “Aunt Ava.”
At the university, Astra wants to take the Chalice by force, but Charlie is like “shape up or I’m not letting you use the Loom” and that just pisses Astra off. It’s rush week, so all the sororities and fraternities are gathered in one place. The members of Sigma Psi Phi, holders of the Chalice, arrive carrying their leader on a litter. Nate recognizes him as Dion, the guy that led the Sigmas when he was in college, but Dion hasn’t aged a day. Naturally, as Charlie observes, that’s because Dion is Dionysus.
Greek god of wine, ritual madness, and partying hanging out with a bunch of frat boys? That tracks. Actually, any Greek god hanging out with a bunch of frat boys is fitting.
They were going to change their name to “Σ SyFy” but couldn’t come up with a pretentious enough reason to hide their intent to trademark their name.
Charlie and Dion reunite, showing mutual respect for each other. Charlie loves to party, and Dion loves the free will granted by Clotho destroying the Loom. When Astra tries to take the Chalice, she finds she can’t because it has a Mjolnir-like enchantment where only a Greek can hold it. To “become Greek,” they have to play Dion’s game: Join a fraternity or sorority, and win the cup.
Charlie and Astra try to pledge Theta Lambda Rho, but they can’t stop bickering long enough to convince the Thetas. Zari suggests starting their own sorority. But how can they possibly establish a sorority in such a short amount of ti–oh yeah, this is a show about time travel. They set up a sorority in Constantine’s house using a time courier portal over the entrance of a dilapidated house on sorority row. Points for creative reuse of a set, but there are so many ways that could go poorly.
Mick is feeling a bit inadequate next to some of the alumni parents, even with the lie that he studied architecture at an “art school” called Iron Heights. He passes Nate off as Lita’s father and ditches for some time-travel shenanigans. Nate and Lita then infiltrate Delta’s house to do a little recon. Lita finds out where the Chalice is kept, but Nate falls victim to some enchanted booze that makes him tell Dion why the Legends want the Chalice. Dion fears that with the Loom back in play, free will and partying will be over.
The newly dubbed Delta Chi Sigma (oh, I get it: “DCS” = “DC’s”) sorority needs to recruit three more members – an overly peppy girl, an emo girl, and a girl caught on video “snarting” at a party. “Snart” being a combination of a sneeze and a fart. Yeah, I get that. But how can Legends do both Leonard and Leo dirty like that?
I love this shot for the bright colors, composition and–oh who am I kidding? Zari is using a Beebo GIF; that’s why I screencapped this.
Dion pays the Deltas a visit and disqualifies them from the Chug Challenge. Astra is frustrated with doing things the Legends’ way, as well as their attempts to reform her, so she leaves.
Mick has gone back in time and donated to the college, getting a building named after him. That doesn’t matter to Lita – she just wanted him there for her. She wasn’t embarrassed by him; she was feeling insecure herself. When Mick says she’s better than that, she says he is too. They decide to piss off some rich people together.
Charlie prevents Astra from getting the Chalice molotov cocktail-style. She relates to her with how she changed a bit joining the Legends, but she’s still Charlie. And the Legends don’t want to change who Astra is, either. They’re met by Nate, who blabs that Dion’s power comes from having partying followers, so Charlie hatches a plan to throw a bigger party to draw everyone away from Dion.
DCTV shows this week:
–Batwoman: racing to stop a supervillain from gaining a weapon to kill the hero.
–The Flash: trying to save prisoners trapped in a mirror dimension.
–Legends of Tomorrow: gotta out-party the god of partying.
They initially have trouble drawing everyone away, so Astra formulates a plan. Zari hacks Dion’s playlist and replaces the music at the party with yodeling; Charlie disguises herself as Nate to lead Dion away from the party and show her the shed where his kegs are stashed; then Mick heats up the kegs, causing all of them to burst.
It’s like if The Shining were tailored specifically to Mick’s interests.
The party moves, but Dion’s power over the Chalice remains. When he shows up at the party, Sara challenges him to Beer Pong. They shake hands before the match, letting Sara use her newfound powers to form a strategy. It doesn’t hurt that she’s played a few games of Beer Pong in her life, she can see the future, and she’s a fucking ninja. She beats Dion easily. The actual college girls of Delta promise to keep the house going at a new location on sorority row.
Dion presents the Chalice to the Legends, magically filling it with wine and offering them a drink. Immortality is theirs for a day, so as a show of solidarity, they all drink (except for Zari, who abstains from alcohol for religious reasons). Dion is okay with them using the Loom as long as they don’t do anything to stop his partying. And he trusts Charlie not to mess with free will.
Outside, Lachesis approaches Astra, ready to call in the favor she did for Astra when she wound Constantine’s death clock ahead.
When goofy premises for episodes become the norm, an episode about a Greek god running a fraternity can seem kind of pedestrian, but they still pulled this one off. The episode had some good development for Astra, who almost looks like she’s taking a shine to the Legends, but the ending suggests that maybe I’m right about her betraying them and taking Charlie’s place as the third Fate. I think this may be more to set up a last-minute change of heart that will be pivotal in the finale. Maybe her quasi-friendships with Zari, Charlie, and Constantine will end up saving the day.
I’m not sure what to make of Zari being the only Legend who doesn’t get twenty-four hours of immortality. It could be nothing more than them giving a nod to her religion, as she says drinking wine would be “super haram” and “A Head of Her Time” made a point of noting that Behrad didn’t drink either. But it also could be used as a plot point to raise the stakes for the finale. Will Zari, the only Legend vulnerable to the Loom’s “burn you from the inside” caveat, be forced to use the Loom to save either Behrad or her friends?
Luckily, we’re getting a proper finale for Legends of Tomorrow, unlike some of the other shows. Because of their shorter seasons, they’ve been done filming for a while. I almost wish Supergirl, Batwoman, and The Flash had shorter seasons as well. Not strictly because of the production shutdown, but Legends and Black Lightning always seem to have a more cohesive and focused season-wide arc while some of the others tend to meander and drag.
Next time: Zombies in England… Didn’t I see this movie? Twice? Didn’t I play this game?
Legends of Tomorrow airs Tuesdays on the CW at 9 ET/8 CT. Kate skipped Rush Week to play Mario Kart. Follow her on Twitter @WearyKatie.